Thursday, January 10, 2008

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Dale Carnegie is famous for his book, “How to win Friends and Influence People.” The book was a best seller. Dale decided to franchise his concept. He licensed individual proponents of his concept to tell others, in live local classes “How to win Friends and Influence People.” Those who have taken the course, generally have improved their public image.

There is a way to Win Friends and Influence People, without taking Dale Carnegie’s course, or reading his book. It is in another book of personal growth, written many years ago.

Fair dealing is the key. Both parties to a transaction must think they achieved a “bargain.” If only one person believes he has received a bargain, the other person is the loser. For both sides to be completely happy, they must both think that they have achieved a fair deal.

Abraham was in quandary, in this week’s Torah portion. Sarah, his wife, and the mother of his heir, Isaac, had died. She was to be the mother of the Jewish People, in whom, as G-d had promised, “All the people of the Earth shall be blessed.” (Gen. 2.2 ___). You just couldn’t bury her anywhere! There had to be a burial place that future generations could visit, and acknowledge her unique place in their lives.

Abraham knew of a special place – a cave – in Machpelah. This was a unique resting place for the mother of the Jewish People.

But it belonged to Heth, a Hititte, it was in his field. He was a friendly person who respected Abraham. He offered his own land to Abraham for a burial place – for nothing.

But Abraham, while grateful, knew that Sarah deserved a separate place – a place where future generations of her descendants could visit and offer prayers.

Abraham knew of a certain cave in the field of Machpelah, which belonged to Heth, which was an appropriate resting place, which could be visited by future generations.

He told Heth he would like to buy the cave for a fair price. Heth replied that he would give it to Abraham as a gift.

This was generous of Heth, but not satisfactory to Abraham. He knew that Heth would always regret the gift – so he offered to pay a fair price for the cave.

Heth was a business minded man of the old school. He said it but did not say it. He insisted that the field be given to Abraham as a gift to his friend – since it was only worth 400 silver coins.

Abraham took the hint, and paid 400 silver coins to Heth – and took possession of the cave of Machpelah, and buried his beloved wife there – and later, he was buried next to her by his two sons, Ishmal and Isaac.

Abraham purchased Machpelah in full view of the elders of the City at the City Gages – the market place of ancient transactions – for the full value ascribed to it by Heth.

It was a sound investment for a fair price – fair to both parties – since it was the full amount specified by the seller.

Abraham thus won friendship with Heth, and the elders of the City, as a man who dealt fairly and did not bargain – and thus won friends wherever he went.

Similar good deeds by Abraham are cited by the Torah, but it is stressed that Abraham took no benefit from his good deeds.

His was the ultimate good deed – the voluntary act for no reward. That is how to win friends and influence people.

© 2007 L.M.S.

The Big Bang

A Pauper went to a Bank and asked to borrow Billions. Did they laugh at him?

No! It was a smart Bank!

He got his loan – but it was on the condition that he keep his Loan, and the proceeds of his Loan, on deposit in the Bank, and not make any withdrawals “without the Bank’s consent.”

The Pauper was happy and he readily agreed. He had Billions of Dollars in Assets! The Bank was happy – it had Billions of Dollars in Deposits!

Result: Billions of Dollars of Assets out of nothing – ex Nihilio. Something very substantial out of nothing – q.v. Genesis 1.1-3.

Everyone had something, and it did not cost anyone anything, because it all came out of nothing, ex Nihilio.

To our surprise, the Bible tells what the Scientists have only recently discovered:

“In the Beginning, There was Nothing!” (Genesis 1.1-3).

Today, scientists believe that that is how our Universe got started – something out of nothing – a big event, a loan and a debt – a hole and a pile – via a Big Bang – all out of absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, positively Nothing .

Out of this Big Bank – or Big Bang – came assets and liabilities in the form of electrons, protrons, neutrons, photons, quarks, et al, and all their sub-entities, and their progeny, the Elements, and their progeny, the molecules and Matter and Life.

Two gasses – the elements H and O – led the way. They mated and had an offspring, which they called Water. Strangely, their offspring, while a liquid, was a marriage of two gaseous parents named H and O (actually there were two H’s, but Water clung to both O and the two H’s).

Others got the idea and many marriages followed, until there was a Universe filled with strange and unique marriages of electrons and positrons, and they had offspring, atoms, molecules, etc.

Water was a smart baby – it knew it had to be different if it wanted to get anywhere, so it decided to go against all reason and logic. Instead of compacting at low temperatures, when it froze, as did all its relatives, Water decided to compress like all the others, when it cooled, but suddenly to reverse all tradition, and “Expand!” when it froze, so that Water could have the honor of making life possible on Earth.

Water knew that if it continued to contract as it froze – like everything else – it would sink rather than float, and then life on Earth would not be possible.

Water was even smarter. It also knew that it had to evaporate at low temperatures, and ascend into clouds and become moisture, and rain and snow and dew in their Seasons. Water knew that Life would not be possible unless Water made itself do these things.

Amazingly, everything afterward seemed to come from little teeny, tiny bits of electricity, from electrons, positrons, neutrons, quarks, photons, etc. Blood, Flesh, Bone, Veins, Muscles, Arteries, Brains, Neurons, Capillaries, Nerves, everything came out of, and if you are tiny enough to see it, bits of electricity, each with unbelievably vast spaces – relatively miles of distance – between each of them, attracted to each other by only a mystical far-away strange “non-attachment,” which, for lack of a better term, those who are “Greene,” call “Strings.” But those who knew better, knew that the distances are too vast for “strings” or physical attraction, and know that the attraction is part of “the Divine Force of the Universe.”

When did Science first learn of and understand all of this strange electrical nature of Biology? Was it when it found that there was a “Big Bang” at what Scientists persist in calling the “Beginning” of everything.

Of course it wasn’t the Beginning of everything – it only was the Beginning of our little Universe, one of untold billions of other visible and invisible Universes, so many that we don’t know how many. And each Universe, like our “little” Universe, has countless billions of suns, stars, planets, asteroids, comets, etc. And where, if anywhere, is it all? Is it all in G-d’s Mind and Vision, like a vast super computer?

The Big Questions remains: Who are we, where are we, why are we, what are we here for, and what are we to do with our lives, our bodies, our minds and or beliefs – which really are nothing but complicated, intertwined, complex bits and combinations of positive and negative charges, electro-magnatism, photons – that add up to nothing?

In this week’s Torah Reading, we begin with the First Book, Genesis, “Berashis” or “In the Beginning” in English, and learn what we are expected to do with our gift of Life.

Isn’t it time to have a new look at the first book of Science, the Book of Creation, the Book of the Beginning – and the Book of Life and the Purpose of Life?

© 2007 L.N.S.

A Test of Your Faith

How much do you love your wife or husband? Or your children or grandchildren? Is there any thing that you would trade for any of them?

Suppose you were offered $10 Million in cold cash? Make it $100 Million! Still no takers?? How about $1 Billion? Think of what you could do with $1 Billion in cash – no taxes to on gifts! Still in doubt, make it a Trillion Dollars – that’s 1000 x $1 Billion! You would be the richest person on Earth. Starting to weaken? No? What would it take? Would anything substitute for a loved one?

That is just the dilemma Abraham faced when, after 99 years of trying, he finally had a Jewish son with his beloved wife, Sarah.

What a mean test to give a father! Sacrifice your only son to me! If you believe I am the Creator of the Universe, the Creator of all humans – prove it to Me! Show Me the depth of your faith! Show Me why you are qualified to be the progenitor of My Holy People, My Treasure, My Kingdom of Priests!”

Abraham had no one to ask for advice. He had no Rabbi nor counselor to advise him. Even if he had, it would have been sacrilegious to ask advice when you are being commanded by the Creator of Life, of all things living. That respect was due to the Command of the Creator was undoubted!

Suppose it was only a test? Suppose he would be called off at the last moment. Suppose the sacrificial knife would stop despite his effort? Suppose it was a bad dream? Suppose, suppose, suppose???

But if it was a test, it could only be valid if his resolve to sacrifice Isaac was determined, truthful and unconditional. The test had to be as rigorous as his resolve to make the sacrifice – otherwise, it would not deceive the Creator, who knows the actual genuine thought of all Humans!

The test was literally at a sharp knife edge of sincere resolve. Only if the knife were irretrievably descending to Isaac’s throat could the Creator be sure that Abraham had borne the test and had passed with blind faith.

There can be no doubt of Abraham’s resolve in this matter. Gen. 22, part of this week’s Torah reading makes that quite clear.

It states that because Abraham “did not withhold” his only son – one he had waited a life time to have – G-d believed that Abraham was fit to be the Father of the Jewish People.

He was to save Isaac, who was to beget Jacob – who wrestled with an Angel to obtain his credentials – and became known as Israel.

Israel – the People who were designed to be G-d Holy Treasurer – a Kingdom of Priests. How do we fit into this Divine Pattern?

Do we fit the mould?

Do we merit the name?

Do we shun quarrels – do we let our protagonist choose his way – left or right – as Abraham did, and peacefully go the other way?

In other words, do we believe? Do we believe that, as the Torah tells us – that G-d proclaims to all: “Vengeance is mine,” not ours.

Be patient – you will see in good time.

© 2007 L.N.S.

The Chosen

This week’s Torah Reading tells us that to be Equal is not the same as to be the Chosen! There are some people who are “Chosen.” They are an anomaly…why are they special?

We all are 99.1% identical, but the 0.1% is one big difference. In that small 0.1% is the difference of sex, male and female, tall and short, black and white, red and yellow, Caucasian and oriental, thin and heavy, genius and normal, chosen and non-chosen.

As with individuals, so with Peoples. There are Blacks from Africa, Orientals from the East, Tans from the South Seas, Reds from the Western Hemisphere, Eskimos from the far North.

But there is only one Chosen People! No other People can claim that distinction. Only one People were called by The Creator to be the Chosen People, the Kingdom of Priests, G-d’s Holy Treasure. No other People can or does claim that distinction!

The Choice is incongruous. Abba Eban said that Jews can’t take “yes” for an answer. As Dorothy Parker once observed: “How odd of G-d. He choose the Jews!”

We are clearly different than other people – but in good ways or bad ways? Unfortunately, we haven’t taken to Torah as we were intended to, as we were distinguished and selected to do.

We are fated with two ways, the Good and the Bad, what the Torah calls the Way of Life and the Way of Death.

G-d advises: “Choose Life,” and also warns us not to “Choose Death.”

G-d does not mean literally life or death physically, but Life or Death as a People.

In the beginning, only one small family was chosen to carry the Torah, as we find in this week’s Torah Reading – the children of Jacob, or as G-d renamed him, Israel – the youngest son of Isaac and Rebekah.

Essau was the older of the twins, and Isaac would have been expected to choose him as his heir. But G-d and Rebekah had other ideas.

They chose his younger brother, Jacob – literal “Heel” because Jacob, the youngest twin was born holding on the heel of the first-born twin, Essau.

Why did Rebekah go against Tradition? Because G-d had told her that, while she would have twins, the “older shall serve the younger!” (Gen. 25.23).

Just as Abraham had pleaded with G-d for his earlier-born Ishmael. So Isaac favored his earlier born Essau to be his spiritual heir (Gen. 17.18).

Ishmael was not to be ignored by G-d, and would become a “Great Nation.” But only through Sarah, was G-d’s Choice to be manifest, as the Mother of the Chosen People, The Jewish People! (Gen. 17.19).

But Sarah’s son Isaac had twin sons, and G-d told Rebekah that the younger, Jacob, was to be the Chosen, and Rebekah, who loved both twin sons, still followed the Divine Choice.

Rebekah engaged in deception to achieve G-d’s Choice, she disguised Jacob as Essau and Isaac was deceived, and gave him the Blessing of the First Born, and so were formed the Jewish People. (Gen. 27.1-40).

The Choice, however, was the Creator’s, not the mother’s. Rebekah knew that she was carrying out G-d’s Choice, and she went along with the Choice.

Isaac also, the commentators say, knew that he was being deceived by Rebekah and Jacob, but he let himself be deceived, so as not to offend Essau, his first born.

However, when Rebekah sent Jacob away, in order to protect him from Essau’s rage (Gen. 37.41) Isaac blessed Jacob and sent him away from Essau, to Abraham’s People, to take a wife from there (Gen. 28.2-5). Essau was not dumb, and he got the message, and took a daughter of Ishmael to wife (Gen. 2.8 7-9).

So what conclusion are we to draw from this complex “genesis” of the Jewish People? There is only one conclusion!

We are the Chosen People! We have been Chosen by the Creator of all humans, to be the Creator’s Holy Treasure, to be a Kingdom of Priests! What a distinction!

Do we comport ourselves as such? Are we, in each generation, cognizant of the duties and responsibilities by being The Chosen People…G-d’s Chosen Treasure, G-d’s Kingdom of Priests?

If we examine our actions each day in that light, we will surely act like The Chosen! People will say: “They are unique! They are Blessed. They are Different! They are a Kingdom of Priests, a Holy People, G-d’s Treasure!! Let us admire them – let us copy them” – for that is what is meant by the Chosen People?

© 2007 L.N.S.

The Greatest Debate

Debating seems to be a lost art in these heady times. IPods, e-mails, web-sites, proliferate – and e-mails are a form of debates, a reportee of ideas, mostly untested, unvarnished offering – out of personal ideology.

Debating was an art form long lost to us. The so-called Political Debates of recent history are more like personal statements of ones’ beliefs. True debating posits two opposing views and tries to demonstrate the inconsistencies, the consequences, of the opponent’s position.

History buffs believe that the Lincoln-Douglas debates were the high-water mark of debating. Douglas, a Democrat, vs. Lincoln of the former whig party, now part of the newly formed Republican Party.

“The prairies are on fire,” summed up the Eastern Seaboard, about the report of two protagonists for the Illinois Senate vacancy in 1858.

You had to be fast on your feet – fast on the response – in those heady days of frontier American’s fascination with political ideas fermenting for exposure.

Lincoln lost the election – but it was not by popular vote, buy by legislators who maneuvered him out of the running.

Still, the Debates are remembered, and his logic, his ability to draw parallels, his earthiness – all combined to give him the Presidency two years later, in 1860, against a mixed field which included Douglas.

Thus, debating proved politically profitable. Not so, however, with the Greatest Debate in all human history.

The opponents were Abraham and one of the Mysterious three strangers who came to visit him, and for his kindly reception, gave him the unique privilege of participating in the Greatest Debate of all time.

Abraham had become a righteous individual and obtained the greatest gift of all from G-d, the distinction of being the progenitor of a righteous people, the Jewish People, in “whom all the nations of the Earth shall be blessed.” (Gen. 18.18-19).

In this week’s Torah portion, Abraham debates with G-d as to the seeming of injustice of destroying Sodom if there are 50 righteous people amongst all the wicked ones, arguing that “The Judge of all the Earth is bound to do justice.”

G-d agrees, and assures Abraham that if there are 50 righteous present in Sodom it will not be destroyed.

Abraham has the advantage and talks to 45, 40, 30, 20 and finally 10 righteous people – and the answer is the same, right down to 10 righteous people.

Beyond that minimum, Abraham will not go. But the question remains: one righteous person, will G-d save the city, and, perhaps, all humanity?

We are left to conjure the answer. But the principle, as stated by Abraham, who debated with the Creator, is the same:

“Shall not the Judge of all the Earth do justly?” (Gen. 18.25).

Hopefully there are many righteous people, but, necessarily, there is at least one human being who is pure enough to protect us all from the destruction that surely looms on the horizon.

© 2007 – LNS -

The Old Man on the Throne

(Exodus 33.12 – 34.26)

Is the Torah a saga, an historic fable, of the Jewish People? Was it handed down to us from generation to generation like Beowulf or Homer?

Many modern “space age” people ask: “How can we give any credence to this ancient fable of an old man with a long white beard sitting on a golden throne in Heaven?”

They are right. We cant! Why should we give credence to laws given by an old man thousands of years ago? This is the 21st century. “We live in the space age, and we know better!”

Space age moderns know that such an old man on a throne could not be the creator of our Universe.

And they are absolutely right! He couldn’t be!

Today’s scientists are clear that the Creator of our unfathomably complex Universe could not have been a human being, or anything else that we can contemplate.

Today, science is far advanced in its search for the single “unifying theory” of the Universe. So far advanced, in fact, that it is not sure it can find the answer. Einstein died, a failure in his eyes, because after years of trying, he could not find the answer.

The fact is that the deeper we delve, the deeper and broader is the mystery of Creation and human existence.

Once, not too long ago, there were atoms of electrons, positions and nuclei.

Now, there are quacks – upper and lower ones to boot – plus mesons, busons, etc., and according to Brian Greene, “strings!”

Many today, posit that mysterious “strings” are the glue that holds together the electrons, atoms, molecules and thus the Universe, and us.

No one can define “strings” except to claim that they are invisible, minute and extremely long. So long, that, if one electron was, relatively speaking, in the Bronx, its “string mate” electron would be in Brooklyn, about 10-12 miles away;.

No one knows the why or how of “strings,” other than the fact that could be an answer to how the Universe works.

But “strings,” if they exist, have “baggage.” They bring into play other “dimensions” - weird, unfathomable dimensions – perhaps as many as 19 of them – either so small that they are within us and our atoms, or so large that we are within them.

Is it these invisible to us dimensions that are involved in the Torah reading for this Intemediate Sabbath of Passover?

After the Exodus from Egypt – there was the miracle of the sudden “East wind” that the Torah tell us, blew the waters away to reveal the bottom so that the children of Israel could march across – then ceasing the wind to drown the Egyptians as they tried to follow. The song at the Red Sea,” that they then sang, is so spontaneous that even so ardent an atheist as Martin Buber claimed that it rang true with its vivid verses and spontaneity.

Moses, after the Exodus, pleads with G-d to reveal Himself to Moses: “If I have found grace in Your sight, reveal Yourself to me. Show me Your face? Show me Your Glory!”

Poor Moses. He does not understand. The Al-Mighty is far beyond even Moses’ contemplation. As a mere human being, Moses doesn’t know of the vastness of Creation, the invisible dimensions. But neither do our most advanced scientists. They can only speculate.

G-d explains to Moses that G-d is beyond all human comprehension – certainly not, as some moderns claim, an old man with white hair and a long white beard sitting on a throne in Heaven, and tells him, in effect:

“No one can see Me and live!

No one can see My face and live!

I am beyond human contemplation

I alone decide to whom I will be gracious!”

Thus, 3,300 years ago, our Creator explained to Moses the complexity of the Universe and gave Moses the unifying theory – an invisible dimension – that Einstein vainly sought: “No man can see Me and live!”

The Al-Mighty works through human beings – and chose Moses, to redeem the Hebrews from Egypt so that they could become His:

“Kingdom of Priests”
“A holy Nation,
“G-d’s Treasure on Earth,
“To bring the Torah
To the World.”

For that Divine purpose, G-d required living “dimension,” beings, and chose the Children of Israel to carry the Torch of Torah, whose message is in full accord with our Space Age.

© L. N. Service (30)